Photo source: Wikimedia Commons
How Should Your Kids Learn About Sex?
- Parents should teach their kids all about sex.
- Sexual education should be left to trained teachers at school.
- Let them learn from the media and computers.
- My peers and friends taught me about sex. So will theirs.
- The trial and error method works best.
Which of the above would you choose for your kids?
How Kids Learn About Sex
In most contemporary societies a teenager is under extreme pressure to become a sexual top performer. S/he “knows” that civilization on any other planet is a myth like the unicorn or the Loch Ness monster but G-spots have precise geometrical coordinates. In the search for the holy G, do you go straight, turn left or right? “Turn left at Greenland!” is what John Lennon replied when asked by reporters “How did you find America?”
Magazines, available everywhere, and those modern “self-styled shamans” called TV-psychologist or Relationship expert offer standards for orgasmic peaks and preferred length, type and frequency of sexual behaviour. You are not “normal” if you don’t have it 3.6 times a day in five different poses giving you earth shattering rapture each and every time.
Things may be different in families:
- Living in war-torn countries like Afghanistan or Somalia where surviving is at the top of their minds. It is the parents’ duty to occasionally be blessed with children. Children are promptly smacked if they ask questions about sex.
- Living in cultures where cultural values prohibit discussing sex. You (meaning adults) do it but never talk about it. Children learn all kinds of A Thousand and one night stories about sex from older kids. Eventually kids get married, have babies and live happily/unhappily ever after. If they end up believing that sex was invented just to annoy neighbours, they spend their money and time on therapy or becoming grumpy. If they go for DIY (do it yourself) fixes, they spend money on porn or chase other people in pursuit of elusive sexual raptures or even discover that there’s more to life than rubbing waste disposal areas together.
- Where parents actually bring up their children with love, guidance and encourage them in hobbies, help them get education they value, teach them to live with people they care about and become well-adjusted valued members of society.
A Dutch study of 63 kids aged 2-6 found that they had only basic knowledge of genital differences, gender identity, sexual body parts and functions of the genitals, knowledge of pregnancy and birth, reproduction and adult sexual behaviour.
Why would 2-6 year olds need all this knowledge? Many adults seem to be doing fine with knowing less.
Parents Affect Their Children’s Sexual Behaviour the Most
Photo source: Wikimedia Commons (Apologies to the parents of people in this picture)
Studies by the American National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy found that 38% of teen parents said that their parent’s behaviour shaped theirs and this influence was much greater than the influence of friends, the media, educators, siblings and religious organisations.
A Korean study found that fathering (warmth and involvement measured by frequency of task share) was not a significant factor in their children’s sex role orientations. This study however, found that girls’ femininity was significantly related to the father’s masculinity. This brings hope that children after all don’t always become like their fathers.
Can You Blame Your Children’s Sexual Behaviour on the TV?
In the late 1970s, research by Paul E. McGhee and Terry Frueh of Fels Research Institute Ohio, USA found that heavy viewers of TV retain male stereotypes over time but moderate viewers don’t.
They found no effect on female stereotypes.
If your son's going to behave like Conan the Barbarian or James Bond if he watches television 20 hours a day, then you know who gets the credits.
How Do Same-Sex Parents Bring Up Their Children?
Photo source: Wikimedia commons
A research of 500 American households for Tufts-New England Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, USA reveals that children brought up in same-sex households (both live-in parents are gay or lesbians) have equally good self-esteem, gender identity or overall emotional health compared to healthy children brought up in healthy straight families.
Outsourcing Sex Education - The perils
- Some parents in Vietnam seems to prefer outsourcing the sex education of their kids. Dan Nang City Youth Union has teamed up with a travel agency, Viet Da Travel Company to give culture specific sex education to Vietnamese youngsters without promoting sexual experimentation, they claim.
- In Sweden sex education was outsourced to schools in 1955.
Good Teachers are the Best Sex Educators
Is it true that good teachers are the best sex educators?
Recent study by researchers at Ohio State University and the University of Kentucky found that students learn more about sex and relationship issues when taught by their regular classroom teacher, whom they get to trust more than casual teachers or other sources of information.
So how did the dinosaurs put on condoms?
Hmm! If we dump the parents as dinosaurs metaphor and think of real dinosaurs, we don’t have any information of their sex lives.
But according to one theory, dinosaurs got their bang and earth shattering experience when a large disaster (asteroid) hit the earth off the Texas coast, 65 million years before George Bush II ruled America.